


The Beatles Bible

by MemeCoterie



Category: Christian Bible, The Beatles (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 23:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemeCoterie/pseuds/MemeCoterie
Summary: The Beatles Bible is a collection of sacred beatles texts or beatles scriptures. Varying parts of the Beatles Bible are considered to be a product of divine inspiration and a record of the relationship between God and Ringo Starr by Beatheads, Meatheads, Paul is Dead Heads, and Rastafarians





	1. Chapter 1

Ringo coughed violently, it felt like his lungs were being crushed in chest. Ringo started to mas·ti·cate. He didn’t know what that meant and wasn’t going to look it up, but what he did know what that his time was almost up. Like the song that he wrote with his band a while back. Ah, yes, that song, the song he knows very well, the song that perfectly describes this situation, that song. The Lemon Man violently slapped the back of Ringo's head, yelling at him in his monstrous British diaphragm dialect.

_“We’re gunna fuckin’ crucify ya guvna!”_ He screamed directly into Ringo’s ear, making his head spin and also ear hurt because yeowch.

Ringo started to cry. How could he not? Beatles lore was about to be made. Violent, gorey and a bit sexy Beatles lore. Okay hopefully not all of those adjectives would be correct, but this was still a fucked up situation to be in. Getting crucified for heresy.

Paul, otherwise known as Jackn Blackn (Man.), was also here for some reason. He had left the few band a year ago to pursue his real handsome passion, grave robbing. He was gonna rob Ringo’s grave when he died. Well, he would of if they had decided on putting his corpse six feet underground. Like the song.

hewelo cue

Its not a beatles fanfic without the cursed pic of john lennon

thats the best picture of him

Stop oppressing me

WHY IS HE CHEWING

Ringo looked up at the big, big man in front of him. He knew what was going to happen now-- this is how he wanted to go, after all. Lemon picked the tiny man up, eager to shove his tiny form in his mouth. George screeched. John devoured the completely unrelated tiny man who wasn't Ringo right into his trash hole. “

YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOT THIS LITTLE MAN,” he bellowed at George, who was witnessing this all. WHATTHE FCK HAPPENED NO VORE

ONLY PAUL IS ALLOWED TO BE VORED

I am walking in a fredmeyers as i write vore

i hope youre happy I cant remember any of the beatles other than ringo thank you

….george? Lemon? Paul mccartney? yeah thats how it goes

does anyone in this thread smoke weed

hold on im gonna see if there beatles vore fanfiction

there are


	2. The Beatles Bible 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized that to my stomach, he was no more then food, and would be treated as such. But the thought of digesting him made him a part of me permanently, and that didn’t bother me. He would continue on from inside me.

Hm.,..,,It hurt. It hurt to be alive. Wasn’t he dead? Hadn’t they killed him on the crucifix? Unlike that poor bastard who got vored violently by Lenon the Bennon? He still remembered that bastard Lemon and his knife. How was he alive now. In this dark, dark place... 

OH GOD HE WAS DAY TRIPPED IN THE COFFIN!!!! THEY BURIED HIM ALIVE!!!!!! Ringo started to sob, he was gonna be like Paul, like that day in 1966, and the car. 

Because he was a master at getting buried alive, since everyone wanted to kill him and they all failed, Ringo knew exactly what to do. With his powerful, sexy, insect like legs, he violently shattered the wooden door of his coffin. Dirt poured in, but his mouth was already opened. In he shoveled the earth’s dandruff, swallowing it all like Tarrare.

It didn’t take long until he could see sunlight. Like a plant, he felt rejuvenated and moist and launched himself out of the ground missile silo mode vertically out of the ground. He levitated off the ground like an British god. He died t-posing like a true gamer and now he had their powers. 

All his friends were there, waiting for him to inevitably rise. There was Lemon, not Paul, the guy who got stabbed(?), the guy who got shot? George Harrison, he may of gotten stabbed 40 times in a row, but throat cancer was the only thing that could kill him. Uhhhhhhhhh and Harry from one direction. He’s a beatle.

He got shot. Thank god it was over. For now.

“The taste of your lips I’m on a ride  
You’re toxiv I’m slipping under  
The taste of your poison paradise  
I’m addicted to you and I know that you’re tox”  
Said go to th beatle

AH LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE

ELONY

Anf that’s why Ringo can’t die the absolute motherfucker. The god is the holy father hoy spirit holy son and holy beatle Ringo Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


End file.
